Waiting on my Adam

I say I'm waiting on my Adam, but I am not still. I say I'm waiting on my Adam but I still chase those soul ties. I say i'm waiting on my Adam but yet and still i'm constantly pushing the subject commitment and marriage. I say i'm waiting on my Adam and while my friends continue to walk down the aisle and begin new chapters in their life's i'm asking God why not me? I say i'm waiting on my Adam but yet and still in a moment of weakness and loneliness I run to that familiar comfortable place that soul tie that stirs a Jones in bones and makes me feel like nothing else really matters at all, BUT I say i'm waiting on my Adam. I say I trust you God and I know my Adam is just for me, I know that he sleeps and at the right time he'll awake fully prepared to meet me but yet and still i'm constantly going on dates claiming i'm looking for the right one. I say i'm waiting on my Adam and that no one else matters, but yet I still yearn for our tomorrow to be today our memories to never fade away. I say i'm waiting on my Adam but this soul tie I have to him is so strong, its an unbreakable hold (so I think) I've penned you as my soul mate but yet and still I say i'm waiting on my Adam. I say i'm waiting on my Adam but can't seem to cut him a lose, he brings me no peace, I constantly cry and wonder why, why could someone treat me so bad, but love me so good (so I think). I say i'm waiting on my Adam but I still think about bearing his kids, caring his last name and spending the rest of my life with him. But I say i'm waiting on my Adam and i'm constantly telling God I trust you, God I know you have created and orchestrated a perfect plan for me, but I still cry out to you at night about him and constantly ask you to remove him from my life but then rephrase and ask you to make him the man I want him to be BUT I say i'm waiting on my Adam, but I often fine myself in tears at night because i'm constantly thinking about him holding someone else, are making love to her, BUT I say i'm waiting on my Adam I say i'm waiting on my Adam and I know he's out there but all the while i'm praying to God that he is the one my soul mate he has to be he knows me better then anyone else ( so I think), he makes me smile, he makes me laugh he constantly reminds me why I love him so much, BUT he makes me cry, has never wiped a tear from my eye, can go his entire day without so much as a thought my way, expects me to give him the world, submit to his will endure all the hurt he brings my way, and constantly tells me i'm his and i'm never going anywhere, BUT I say i'm waiting on my Adam but yet and still I allow a soul tie to have so much control over my mind, heart and soul. But each time I say i'm waiting on my Adam but continue to give control to those soul ties, what i'm really saying is God I don't trust you, my Adam doesn't exist i'm in control of my own destiny, that plan you created isn't going according to the plan I created so let me help you along. Are you really waiting on your Adam, do you really trust that God has the perfect man, just for you? Are you really able to give God ALL of the control and walk away saying God I trust you! I believe that in that perfect time you'll awake my Adam and he'll be just for me. But we have to give God the control, because while My Adam sleeps God is preparing me to be the women he has intended to be. So I patiently wait as my Adam sleeps. God I trust you...

Besos...

The Fear of Letting Go

It's been awhile VERY LONG WHILE, Lol since my last post. But tonight i've been inspired... I think my biggest issue is Forgiving and letting go. In fact I know that if I were to forgive and let go, I'd be a much happier ME. I hold on to my past hurts as a protective shield. I figure that by holding on i'm protecting myself from new hurts. Reality is holding on only harms you more. I think about my past and those individuals who have hurt me, and how much control I give them by not letting go. So on this day I'm letting go of my fears, breaking up with my doubts and trusting God. I believe that he will remove all hurt and pain from me if I just trust him... I always like to say i'm a work in progress, this wont happen over night. But like I said in past post THIS IS MY SEASON and I know God will free me of all hurt and pain and make me whole. God I trust you... Besos :)