Restless

I'm restless and can't sleep. It's a new year and doesn't seem like it's off to a great start. I keep telling myself just relax trust God but worry is the devil on my back. I need to cry I just need to cry my heart out until there are no more tears. Lord knows I want to forgive and even forget past hurts that hold be bondage. I just want to be free. Free to live, free to laugh, free of pain, hurt and anger... Every night I'm praying God take it away, I don't want it anymore but I'm still hanging on. I can't keep lying to myself because reality is, I should have let go so long ago but I hold on with my life as if it's the only thing I have to hold on to. But it's not. God brought me out of this before and I know he'll do it again. I don't want to wake up with tear stained eyes because I've cried in my sleep. The little that I get. We're only on Day 6. Well 7. Either way I can do this I can take back the control of my life and LIVE!!!!