Restless

I'm restless and can't sleep. It's a new year and doesn't seem like it's off to a great start. I keep telling myself just relax trust God but worry is the devil on my back. I need to cry I just need to cry my heart out until there are no more tears. Lord knows I want to forgive and even forget past hurts that hold be bondage. I just want to be free. Free to live, free to laugh, free of pain, hurt and anger... Every night I'm praying God take it away, I don't want it anymore but I'm still hanging on. I can't keep lying to myself because reality is, I should have let go so long ago but I hold on with my life as if it's the only thing I have to hold on to. But it's not. God brought me out of this before and I know he'll do it again. I don't want to wake up with tear stained eyes because I've cried in my sleep. The little that I get. We're only on Day 6. Well 7. Either way I can do this I can take back the control of my life and LIVE!!!!

Room with A VIEW

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Happy Thursday Everyone.... Wow this week went by fast..... Glad its over I plan on doing nothing this weekend but being a bomb! Yup Some days we need it!

This room was amazing.... That VIEW!!!Omini Hotel Dallas

So i've notice that when I haven't given God his time, I get extremely stressed, I don't sleep and i'm just not myself... Spending time with God is so important... At one point I was doing really good but I've been slacking and it shows! So tonight while showering I put on my Pandora on a worship station and I song my heart out to God. I prayed, I cried and I enjoy some serious me time with my father above... I feel so refreshed and happy already... I feel like I see things clear now... Sometimes we focus on EVERYTHING else but whats important our view is EVERYWHERE else but where it should be. God is the most important person in my life and I hate being neglected by someone I love so I can only imagine how he feels when i'm not focusing on him and not giving him his time.. Guys I feel so renewed and Happy and fresh... God reminded me tonight how much peace and joy he gives and how he instantly provides me with comfort... Its truly amazing... Don't get me wrong Loves I fall short everyday but thats the best part of who God is he forgives and never throws it in your face.... He wipes the slate clean as if it never happened and for that I love him... My view is clear tonight and it feels great... Besos...

Ready for Love

Last year in December I wrote a letter to God and placed it in my bible. I prayed and asked for 3 major things...  One of those things was Love real LOVE... Not just for me to have love but for me to learn how to give my love unselfishly to someone but not just anyone but to someone who was deserving of the love I have to offer... Lately it really seems that it's close but oh so far away... I know what I need may not necessarily be what I think I want. I know there is not one perfect person but I do know there is a perfect person just for me.  Although I want to cry, plead and beg God to rush the process and wake my Adam, I hear  him say be patient, it's on its way, I've saved the best for last. As a woman its so hard to be patient when it comes to love. Especially someone like me... I'm def a lover... I've come to realize I'm not that single girl. While I've enjoyed my single moments I am so ready for love. I'm a hopeless romantic, I want to grow old and gray with one love... A love I can call my own, a love that is selfless, a  love that is 100% mine. A love that is so perfect and right that I know without a shadow of a doubt it was God sent. But God's timing is not our timing and I know he is still preparing me. Maturing me, grooming me to be a helpmate to my future husband, teaching me patience, healing me from my past and my hurts. Grooming me to be a Godly woman and pleasing in his eyes. Teaching me how to love and do it whole heartily. For every heart break I have ever experience in my life time, I want to say Thank you Jesus, for every person, man or woman that has every hurt me or broken my heart, I say Thank you! I can say thank you because without those hurts without those experiences, I would never know what it feels like to love, be loved, hurt and to be hurt. Life is so full of lessons and I am so thankful for the lesson of love... I am a work in progress but I know when God finishes with me and I become the woman he has destiny me to be then I will be READY FOR LOVE.....

Gifted Friends - Poetry...Through my Life's Window: He Heals me

 So one of my VERY good friends is finally sharing with the world her God given talent of writing. I'm very proud of you TAY!!! I Love you honey and remember God knows the desires of our hearts... Lady's and Gents help welcome my friend and sister by checking out Tay's Poetry..  Poetry...Through my Life's Window: He Heals me: In life we all go through something. Whether it be a mild storm or a hurricane. We all have   had that   moment in time where we felt as if...

Besos

Waiting on my Adam

I say I'm waiting on my Adam, but I am not still. I say I'm waiting on my Adam but I still chase those soul ties. I say i'm waiting on my Adam but yet and still i'm constantly pushing the subject commitment and marriage. I say i'm waiting on my Adam and while my friends continue to walk down the aisle and begin new chapters in their life's i'm asking God why not me? I say i'm waiting on my Adam but yet and still in a moment of weakness and loneliness I run to that familiar comfortable place that soul tie that stirs a Jones in bones and makes me feel like nothing else really matters at all, BUT I say i'm waiting on my Adam. I say I trust you God and I know my Adam is just for me, I know that he sleeps and at the right time he'll awake fully prepared to meet me but yet and still i'm constantly going on dates claiming i'm looking for the right one. I say i'm waiting on my Adam and that no one else matters, but yet I still yearn for our tomorrow to be today our memories to never fade away. I say i'm waiting on my Adam but this soul tie I have to him is so strong, its an unbreakable hold (so I think) I've penned you as my soul mate but yet and still I say i'm waiting on my Adam. I say i'm waiting on my Adam but can't seem to cut him a lose, he brings me no peace, I constantly cry and wonder why, why could someone treat me so bad, but love me so good (so I think). I say i'm waiting on my Adam but I still think about bearing his kids, caring his last name and spending the rest of my life with him. But I say i'm waiting on my Adam and i'm constantly telling God I trust you, God I know you have created and orchestrated a perfect plan for me, but I still cry out to you at night about him and constantly ask you to remove him from my life but then rephrase and ask you to make him the man I want him to be BUT I say i'm waiting on my Adam, but I often fine myself in tears at night because i'm constantly thinking about him holding someone else, are making love to her, BUT I say i'm waiting on my Adam I say i'm waiting on my Adam and I know he's out there but all the while i'm praying to God that he is the one my soul mate he has to be he knows me better then anyone else ( so I think), he makes me smile, he makes me laugh he constantly reminds me why I love him so much, BUT he makes me cry, has never wiped a tear from my eye, can go his entire day without so much as a thought my way, expects me to give him the world, submit to his will endure all the hurt he brings my way, and constantly tells me i'm his and i'm never going anywhere, BUT I say i'm waiting on my Adam but yet and still I allow a soul tie to have so much control over my mind, heart and soul. But each time I say i'm waiting on my Adam but continue to give control to those soul ties, what i'm really saying is God I don't trust you, my Adam doesn't exist i'm in control of my own destiny, that plan you created isn't going according to the plan I created so let me help you along. Are you really waiting on your Adam, do you really trust that God has the perfect man, just for you? Are you really able to give God ALL of the control and walk away saying God I trust you! I believe that in that perfect time you'll awake my Adam and he'll be just for me. But we have to give God the control, because while My Adam sleeps God is preparing me to be the women he has intended to be. So I patiently wait as my Adam sleeps. God I trust you...

Besos...

The Fear of Letting Go

It's been awhile VERY LONG WHILE, Lol since my last post. But tonight i've been inspired... I think my biggest issue is Forgiving and letting go. In fact I know that if I were to forgive and let go, I'd be a much happier ME. I hold on to my past hurts as a protective shield. I figure that by holding on i'm protecting myself from new hurts. Reality is holding on only harms you more. I think about my past and those individuals who have hurt me, and how much control I give them by not letting go. So on this day I'm letting go of my fears, breaking up with my doubts and trusting God. I believe that he will remove all hurt and pain from me if I just trust him... I always like to say i'm a work in progress, this wont happen over night. But like I said in past post THIS IS MY SEASON and I know God will free me of all hurt and pain and make me whole. God I trust you... Besos :)

Waiting isn't so Bad

My Motto for 2012... I'm waiting on God in ALL I do. No matter how hard the situation may seem or how bad I want to act own my own will, I know waiting on God is so worth it. I will Trust and have Faith that if I stay constant to his will he will bless me beyond measure.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

No matter how hard it may get or how bad it may seem TRUST, have FAITH, and BELIEVE, that God will make it better. A little faith goes a long way. *besos*